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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29253489">coin operated boy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomjenkins/pseuds/atomjenkins'>atomjenkins</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Attempted Murder, Bad End AU, Bad Ending, Body Horror, Body Modification, Brainwashing, Canon-Typical Violence, Disturbing Themes, Dubious Consent, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Injury, Loss of Agency, M/M, Manipulation, Mild Gore, Mind Manipulation, Murder, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Objectification, Psychological Torture, Self-Harm, Sort Of, Suicide Attempt, Time Loop, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, basically akechi is treated like a doll/toy by maruki throughout this whole thing, because this is bad ending/perfect world stuff, disturbing imagery, god there's A Lot going on here, possibly ooc behaviour, shuake, wanted to get this done for 2/2 but better late than never</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:21:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,608</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29253489</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/atomjenkins/pseuds/atomjenkins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>coin operated boy sitting on a shelf, he is just a toy<br/>but i turn him on and he comes to life<br/>automatic joy - that is why i want a coin operated boy</p><p>-- P5R SPOILERS --</p><p>Ren attempts to spend a perfect day with Akechi in the aftermath of accepting Maruki's deal. Akechi attempts to be as imperfect as possible.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro &amp; Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro &amp; Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>97</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>coin operated boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wanted to get this done for 2/2 but oh well, better late than never!!! please mind the tags ;w;</p><p>fic title is coin operated boy by the dresden dolls</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ren awakens to the sound of a ringing phone.</p><p>Still half-asleep, he fumbles for it as pale sunlight bleeds through the crack in the curtain, the sounds of activity outside clearly indicating that the world outside is a lot more awake than he is. With some difficulty he retrieves his phone from under the bed and answers with a groggy; “Hello…?”</p><p>“Oh, my apologies, Ren – did I wake you?” Akechi chimes pleasantly on the other end of the phone.</p><p>Ren manages a laugh, massaging his temples as he sits up. “Well, maybe. Don’t worry about it though. What’s up?”</p><p>“Well, I obviously just wanted to say good morning…so, good morning, first of all…”</p><p>Ren smiles fondly, beginning to pull the curtains fully open, letting warm yellow light stream into the room. “Good morning.” He says, voice still low and thick with sleep.</p><p>Akechi chuckles, a light and carefree sound. “…and also I just wanted to enquire as to whether I’d be able to pop round this evening for some coffee and curry. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”</p><p>“It’s been like…” Ren furrowed his brow in thought. “…two days at most?”</p><p>“An agonising amount of time to go without sampling such exquisite cuisine, Amamiya-kun!” Akechi said in a theatrical sort of way, and Ren could well imagine the other boy pairing his statement with a dramatic gesture on the other end of the phone, and stifled a laugh at the thought.</p><p>“I suppose so.” He replies, absently twirling a lock of hair between his fingers, before dropping into a conspiratorial tone. “Of course, given the hours you work, you might get here once Sojiro’s headed home for the evening, in which case, the food probably won’t be up to your standards, since I’ll be the one making it.”</p><p>“Oh well, I’m sure I’ll cope. You’ll just have to make it up to me somehow.” Akechi teases. “How does 8pm sound?”</p><p>“Sounds good to me. See you later.”</p><p>“Excellent. Until then.”</p><p>The call disconnects, and Ren lies back down in bed for a moment, letting the warmth of the sun sink into his skin. An intense heat – unlike the gentle rays of sunshine lapping over him – creeps its way onto his cheeks as he replays the conversation with Akechi over in his mind.</p><p>With a fond sigh, he browses drowsily through his phone’s messages – a cinema trip invitation from Futaba that had spiralled into her thoroughly educating him on the merits of one director’s film adaptation over another’s, a few photos from Christmas of everyone hanging out in Leblanc wearing an assortment of festive costumes (Ren laughs as he spots a photo he hadn’t seen before – Yusuke looking bizarrely pensive in a reindeer’s red nose and antlers, holding his hands up to frame Futaba and Kasumi, who were both sporting elf hats and adorably wide grins) – but as he scrolls down, there’s a strange static tearing across his screen for a moment, and a chat log from early February flickers and glitches.</p><p>He taps on it, and sees only a couple of messages into the conversation (Haru saying something like “Tomorrow’s finally the day.” and Futaba responding with; “We’ve already secured the route to the Treasure…no problems there.”) before his screen shuts off. Reopening his phone, he finds that the conversation has vanished – but he just shrugs, finding the thought none too troubling – his phone, like many things he owns, is second-hand, and prone to the occasional blip. With a mighty yawn and stretch, he finally drags himself out of bed, preparing himself for another perfect day.</p><hr/><p>“Why am I here?” Akechi says, in a tone so sharp it could cut a man’s throat. Even though Ren has his back to the other boy, he can feel Akechi’s eyes drilling into him as he stirs the curry one last time, spooning it out onto plates.</p><p>“I invited you over.” Ren reminds him gently. “Well, actually, you invited yourself over.” He chuckles at the reminder of their earlier conversation, before turning around to face Akechi with a serious expression, plates in hand. “This morning. Don’t you remember?”</p><p>“What do you think?” Akechi huffs indignantly, turning his gaze to the wall. Ren sighs. He knew this would be difficult – because where Akechi’s concerned, nothing is ever easy.</p><p>He comes over to sit across from Akechi, placing the plates down in front of them both. Akechi makes no move to start eating, or even acknowledge Ren’s presence, still glaring pointedly at the wall.</p><p>“Akechi.” Ren says firmly. Akechi doesn’t move. “<em>Goro</em>.” <em>That </em>gets a reaction, albeit a minor one – Akechi’s eyes snap to meet Ren’s, his crimson irises alight with intense fury.</p><p>“You haven’t answered my question.” He spits like venom. “Why am I here?” When Ren tries to answer, Akechi suddenly slams his gloved fist down on the table, with enough force to make the plates quiver. “<em>I’m not talking about this. </em>You didn’t…that wasn’t <em>me </em>on the phone.” He growls, in a low, dangerous voice. His eyes are still fixed on Ren. “What <em>happened to you</em>?” He hisses, with this frightening undercurrent of desperation to his voice. “What happened to your resolve? Your fight? Your <em>justice</em>?”</p><p>Ren swallows. “I…found something more important to me.”</p><p>Akechi <em>laughs</em> – a hollow, wheezing thing that rattles frenetically in the still air – and stares at Ren incredulously. “You…You <em>can’t </em>be serious.”</p><p>“I am serious. I was then, I am now. I’ve made my decision, Goro. Can’t you just…accept that?” He looks at Akechi pleadingly.</p><p>Akechi looks at Ren scrutinisingly for a tense moment that seems to stretch out forever. Akechi stands but doesn’t make to leave – he just stands there quietly, gazing down at his gloved hands, balled into fists and resting on the tabletop, his chestnut hair falling over his face and obscuring his eyes – and then he shakes his head.</p><p>“I will <em>never </em>accept this reality. As long as even the smallest shred of me remains aware of who I am, I will fight against this world with everything I have.” He takes a deep breath, like the act of speaking has drained everything from him, and looks back up at Ren, eyes glowering with fierce resolve. “Do not contact me again. I never want to hear from you again.”</p><p>And then he leaves, slamming the door to Leblanc shut behind him as his form is swallowed up by the inky blackness of the night.</p><hr/><p>Hands. Thousands of them.</p><p>They caress over Akechi with ghostly, feather-like touches, trailing invisible fingers along his skin, roaming over all parts of his body. Something in the back of his mind tries to rouse the anger he knows he should be feeling – this is violating, desperately humiliating – but it’s just a faint echo that’s quickly driven away by the haze overcoming him. He can’t bring himself to resist at this point – he tries biting down on a stray hand that wanders too close to his mouth, a desperate bid to taste the metallic tang of blood and set his senses alight – but his teeth clench uselessly around nothing. It's all so futile.</p><p>And, Akechi dimly realises, the unpleasant nausea burrowing its way into his skin with every touch is almost a welcome sensation at this point, after God knows how long spent feeling only a numb, empty happiness. He succumbs, the haze swallowing up any cognitive thought, the hands cradling him as sleep takes its hold.</p><hr/><p>Ren awakens to the sound of a ringing phone.</p><p>Still half-asleep, he fumbles for it as pale sunlight bleeds through the crack in the curtain, the sounds of activity outside clearly indicating that the world outside is a lot more awake than he is. With some difficulty he retrieves his phone from under the bed and answers with a groggy; “Hello…?”</p><p>“Oh, my apologies, Ren – did I wake you?” Akechi chimes pleasantly on the other end of the phone.</p><p>Ren manages a laugh, massaging his temples as he sits up. “Well, maybe. Don’t worry about it though. What’s up?”</p><p>“Well, I obviously just wanted to say good morning…so, good morning, first of all…”</p><p>Ren smiles fondly, beginning to pull the curtains fully open, letting warm yellow light stream into the room. “Good morning.” He says, voice still low and thick with sleep.</p><p>Akechi chuckles. “…and also I just wanted to apologise for last night." He adds, somewhat sheepishly.</p><p>“Hmm?” Ren frowns. “What?”</p><p>“Do you not recall? We were in the middle of a chess game, and I had to leave because I had to wake up earlier than usual for work. I did so hate to leave it unfinished, but well, duty – or rather, my attempts at a somewhat regular sleep schedule – called…I trust you’ve left it so we can resume our match at some point?”</p><p>Ren’s gaze automatically drifts over to the desk – where indeed, a half-complete chess game sits, almost expectantly. He rubs at his bleary eyes, still not quite able to shake the feeling of tiredness from his mind completely. “Yeah, it’s here, all set up still.”</p><p>“Excellent. And I warn you, Ren, I know very well where we left off. If I notice a single piece out of place…”</p><p>“What do you take me for, Mr. Detective? It’s going to be so much more fun to beat you if I don’t cheat.” He casts another glance over at the board. “I’m actually winning already. You sure you don’t want to call it a day?”</p><p>“Please. You are not winning.”</p><p>“I’d give it…three, maybe four moves until checkmate?” Ren flops back against his pillows, a cheeky grin spreading over his face. “How <em>are</em> you going to get out of this one, <em>Akechi-kun</em>?” He drawls.</p><p>“Well, we shall see, won’t we? Perhaps we should settle this tonight, I have a feeling it’s going to be insufferable if we prolong this any longer. And just to be clear, by ‘it’ I mean ‘you’.”</p><p>“I love you too, honey.” Ren says sunnily. “Tonight, then?”</p><p>“Very well. We’ll see who comes out on top. Now I really must be going. See you later. And don’t get any ideas – remember, I have the board memorized.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. See you later, Goro.”</p><p>The call disconnects. Ren sighs and let his eyes slip shut, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over him. He’s not even sure why he feels so tired – he must have been busy these past few weeks, what with Christmas and New Year and everything else, he reasons – and takes a moment to relax, basking in the caressing warmth of the sun.</p><p>A strange but comfortable haze settles over him as he teeters on the edge of consciousness – shapeless iridescent lights dance behind his eyelids, endlessly shifting patterns lulling him close to sleep before dissipating. When he opens his eyes again, he feels freshly energized, and he stretches his arms above his head and arches his back with a satisfying pop before clambering out of bed to face another perfect day.</p><hr/><p>“I see you didn’t listen to me.” Akechi growls, folding his arms and casting a dark glare at Ren. “Not that I expected you to.”</p><p>“Hm? What are you talking about?” Ren replies earnestly, sliding a bishop across the board. “Your move, by the way.”</p><p>Akechi sighs. “You <em>know </em>what I’m talking about. Don’t play dumb.” He snaps. “We weren’t playing chess yesterday. I didn’t have to leave early because of…fucking work or whatever. You remember what happened, don’t you?”</p><p>The ‘Yes’ he wants to reply with gets caught in his throat and the thought that Akechi’s right is gone almost as soon as it springs into his mind. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about, Goro.” He says, only thinly veiling his irritation.</p><p>“Don’t call me that.” Akechi <em>snarls </em>at him, making Ren snap to attention. Akechi glowers, then drops his gaze to the board again, and sneers. “Why chess, anyway? Are you trying to illustrate something? Do you think this is amusing?” He pushes a rook across the board – in such a way that to the untrained eye it would look like an uncaring gesture; a flippant move to get the game over with as quickly as possible, but Ren is well-versed in Akechi’s mannerisms. It’s a calculated move and Ren can see it’s put him in a tight spot – because Akechi takes even the most trivial things seriously, and probably considers it a point of pride to try and beat Ren at a game he hates the very idea of.</p><p>“No, nothing like that. I just enjoy spending time with you.”</p><p>“With <em>him</em>, you mean.” He responds, gritting his teeth. “With the sweet little thing that wears my face and speaks with my voice.”</p><p>“I want to spend time with <em>you</em>. I want <em>you </em>to be happy.”</p><p>“<em>That’s not me!</em>” Akechi cries, gripping the edge of the table with such force Ren thinks he could crush it to splinters. “Don’t you <em>understand? </em>I <em>can’t </em>exist in this reality as myself – it contradicts <em>his </em>idea of what perfection should be. He needs to mould me into an ideal version of myself – but <em>his </em>ideals, not <em>mine</em>. I contradict the very foundation of his ‘paradise’ and as such there’s no place for me in it.” The leather of his gloves strains as his grip grows tighter and tighter, desperation beginning to bleed into his words. “He’s going to keep cutting and cutting parts away from me, keeping all the bits he likes and putting in new things to make me the way he wants. There’s going to be nothing of me left…” He looks at Ren, his eyes wide with fright. “He…you…you’re killing me.”</p><p>The words hang in the air, heavy and dripping with dread.</p><p>“You’re <em>killing me. </em>You’re going to kill me like you killed Sumire.”</p><p>Ren blinks. “Who?”</p><p>Akechi’s breath hitches. “You…wh– <em>Sumire. </em>Sumire Yoshizawa.” His panic is apparent now.</p><p>“Kasumi’s sister?” Ren frowns, trying to recall, but his mind clouds as soon as he tries to delve into memories, the thoughts snatched away before he can even catch a glimpse.</p><p>“The person who is living in this reality as Kasumi Yoshizawa <em>is </em>her sister. Or she used to be. Maruki brainwashed her, changed her cognition…he’s changed the cognition of the <em>entire world </em>because you let him. You remember <em>that</em>, don’t you?”</p><p>Of course he does. As if he’s thought about anything else.</p><p>He doesn’t answer.</p><p>“It’s not like you to be this pathetic.” Akechi says, in a voice like acid. “Did he change something in you too?”</p><p>Ren has the distinct feeling he’s asked himself that exact question before, but before the thought can take hold of him too much, it’s banished from his mind.</p><p>“You’ve hardly touched your food.” He says instead, gesturing to Akechi’s untouched plate of curry and mug of still-steaming coffee.</p><p>Akechi looks at him in disbelief. “I see you’re still an insufferable person to spend time with, but now it’s for all the wrong reasons.” He eyes the culinary offerings darkly, and after a moment of contemplation he reaches out for the coffee. Ren watches in curiosity, then in shock and horror as the other boy rolls up one of his sleeves and pours the contents of the mug over his forearm.</p><p>The coffee isn’t scalding but it’s still hot enough to burn, as an ugly crimson blistering starts to creep across Akechi’s arm. Akechi slams the empty mug down and clenches his other hand around his arm, taking deep, laboured breaths – but his reaction seems to be one of surprise, not agony. Ren doesn’t want to take any chances though, and is out of his seat in an instant – even with his limited medical knowledge he’s picked up enough from Takemi to know water is the best thing for burns – but Akechi snaps at him, freezing him in place.</p><p>“<em>No!</em>” Akechi growls, grasping wildly at his burnt arm. “There’s…there’s nothing…” He starts laughing, strained and breathless. “…no…pain…at all…you…you <em>bastard</em>…”</p><p>There’s a ferality about him – an unhinged look in his eyes, a manic energy to his erratic wheezing laughter – that makes Ren shiver. He tries to move towards the sink again.</p><p>“<em>Don’t move</em>.” Akechi warns – his voice suddenly so contorted with rage it’s unrecognisable to Ren – and Akechi glares at him now with such an intense anger it made Ren’s blood run cold in his veins.</p><p>“I’m telling you…” Akechi says, in a low, dangerous tone, looking positively murderous. “…it <em>does not hurt</em>.” As if to demonstrate, he <em>peels</em> his gloved hand away from his blistering arm in a slow, agonising motion – Ren winces as Akechi’s flaking and reddened skin glowers angrily under the scrutiny of Leblanc’s lights, but Akechi doesn’t even flinch.</p><p>He looks at Ren disgustedly, fury still flickering in his wine-red eyes. “What did you expect? You wanted me to be <em>perfect</em>, didn’t you?” He rolls down his sleeve to cover the putrid display of raw red flesh without so much as a wince. “Maruki pulled me out of a fucking grave, I’m sure it’s nothing at all to make sure I don’t get too scratched up. Anything for <em>you</em>.” He shot Ren another venomous look.</p><p>Ren could only stare at him dumbly, and Akechi sneered. “Nothing to say? Good. I don’t want to hear it. If only you could have held your tongue before…but better late than never, I suppose.”</p><hr/><p>The hands descend upon him again as soon as he gets into bed. He lays there, eyes shut, trying very hard to block out the horrible sensation of many thousands of <em>things </em>crawling over him. Some of them glide delicately along his skin, caressing him, their touch feather-light as they gently tuck errant strands of hair behind his ears, stroke along his jawline or trace along his spine – while others are rougher, kneading and digging insistently at his tired muscles and joints, or pressing down on the sensitive points along his arms and legs. Many fingertips flutter over the burns on his arm, nibbling away at the injury like they’re busy covering the cracks in the perfection they’d built, fixing the damage to their broken doll, stitching what’s left of him back together.</p><p>All in all, Akechi feels like he’s being eaten alive.</p><hr/><p>Ren awakens to the sound of a ringing phone.</p><p>Still half-asleep, he fumbles for it as pale sunlight bleeds through the crack in the curtain, the sounds of activity outside clearly indicating that the world outside is a lot more awake than he is. With some difficulty he retrieves his phone from under the bed and answers with a groggy; “Hello…?”</p><p>“Oh, my apologies, Ren – did I wake you?” Akechi chimes pleasantly on the other end of the phone.</p><p>Ren feels his heart thrashing madly in his chest, an eerie sensation creeping over him.</p><p>“Ren?” Akechi says, with a hint of concern.</p><p>“Sorry.” Ren replies, wearily. “I’m awake.”</p><p>“You don’t sound too good. Is everything alright?” Akechi asks, now with the worry in his voice palpable.</p><p>Ren rolls his head back, his neck cracking. “Yeah, I’m good, just tired. How’re you?”</p><p>Akechi’s tone brightens considerably. “Well, I’m doing quite alright – same old, same old, nothing too exciting. I was wondering if I might be able to–”</p><p>“Come over to Leblanc tonight?” Ren supplies immediately. “Of course! If you want to.”</p><p>Akechi laughs, a sound sweet like honey. “Oh, am I really so predictable?”</p><p>Ren smirks. “Just a little.” He says fondly, his tone softening. “And hey, Goro, don’t worry about last night, okay?”</p><p>“Hmm? Last night? What happened?” Akechi asks.</p><p>Ren pauses.</p><p>“Oh…uh…hmm, maybe I was thinking of someone else.”</p><p>“Hmm. I’ll try not to be insulted by the fact that I’m apparently so unmemorable to you.” Akechi teases delicately.</p><p>“Ha, it’s not like that. Just tired, like I said. Brain not working good quite yet.”</p><p>“Wonderful sentence structure. I can get my curry some other time, if you would prefer?” Akechi’s tone is still playful, but gentle too – earnest.</p><p>“No no, tonight’s fine.” He insists. “I’ll see you later, Goro.”</p><p>“Until then.”</p><p>The call disconnects. No matter how hard he tries, Ren cannot quite shake the feeling of dread that sinks like a stone to the pit of his stomach.</p><p>And yet, a smile slowly creeps onto his face.</p><hr/><p>“I have a theory about all this.” Akechi says, nonchalantly. He’s lounging in one of Leblanc’s booths, arms folded across his chest as he leans back against the chair, expression pinched in concentration.</p><p>“About what?” Ren says, stirring the pot of lightly bubbling curry.</p><p>Akechi ignores him – and Ren scowls at that; he understands why he’s being ignored, because Ren already knows what Akechi’s talking about, and Akechi knows that too, but that’s not how this is supposed to go – and says; “I’ve been experimenting today. Stood on the train tracks, walked out into traf–”</p><p>“<em>What?</em>” Ren says, whirling round to face him. “Gor– Akechi, you…”</p><p>“Don’t <em>worry</em>.” He snaps. “Nothing was going to happen. As soon as I entered an even <em>slightly </em>dangerous scenario, I appeared somewhere else with no memory of how I got there.” He chuckles derisively. “Like a cut to the next scene. I imagine the same is happening with these meetings – haven’t you ever noticed how it seems like it’s morning one minute, then the next, we’re here, with it feeling like no time passes in-between?” He rubs his chin, deep in thought. “I imagine the time between your phone conversations and us being here is actually passing, but our brains are meddled with to filter out the uninteresting bits between those two events. Hmm. It’d be almost impressive if it wasn’t so pathetic.”</p><p>Ren narrows his eyes, spooning out a plateful of curry for the each of them. “<em>Our </em>phone conversations.” Why does he say that? He should maybe be saying something about how Akechi <em>tried to kill himself. </em>And apparently on <em>multiple occasions. </em>Why is he so <em>calm</em>? His hands should be shaking, palms sweaty and heart racing – but the terror that had grasped him so tightly at Akechi’s words had faded in an instant, and now seemed the furthest thing from his mind as he came over to the booth, placing the plates down in front of them and taking his seat.</p><p>Akechi scowls. “For fuck’s sake, the man can bend all of reality to his whims, you think he can’t simulate a voice on the end of a phone?”</p><p>“Well, you’re here, aren’t you? Why are you here if those conversations didn’t happen?”</p><p>“Because <em>you</em> want me to be here, for whatever reason.”</p><p>“Oh really? And you don’t?”</p><p>“Obviously not.” Akechi snarls. “Haven’t I made that clear?”</p><p>“Then leave.” Ren says defiantly.</p><p>Akechi grimaces, and looks down at the plate Ren set in front of him. “I’m not going to eat.”</p><p>“You really should.” Ren sighs. “You need to look after yourself.”</p><p>Akechi frowns, pushes the plate aside and leans back in his chair, glaring at his hands.</p><p>He doesn’t leave. He doesn’t even <em>attempt </em>to leave.</p><p>They sit there for a while, time ticking by in a tormenting silence. Akechi seems on edge, like he’s expecting a jump forward at any time. But it doesn’t happen.</p><p>“Why are you doing this?” Akechi says eventually, in a small voice.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Pretending like it’s all okay.”</p><p>“I want it to be.”</p><p>“But it <em>isn’t</em>.”</p><p>“No, not yet.” Ren contemplates reaching out, threading his fingers through Akechi’s – but thinks better of it, for the moment. “But it could be.”</p><p>Akechi shifts uncomfortably. “Why did you change your mind? About the deal, I mean.”</p><p>Ren chuckles mirthlessly. “Because of you, Goro. It was always about you.” Akechi narrows his eyes, but Ren continues. “I just…wanted the chance for you to be happy. I’m sorry if you wanted something more complicated, but that’s all there is to it.”</p><p>“You’d damn the whole world…for me?” Akechi is watching him intently.</p><p>Ren nods, though he knows he doesn’t need to. They’re living in the aftermath of his answer to that question, after all.</p><p>“Sentimental idiot.” Akechi says, but there’s surprisingly little venom in his words.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” Ren says, and his laugh comes out without his consent – high-pitched, cracked and hysterical. “I guess…it just…I thought about the life I wanted you to have, the life you deserved? And I realised that our reality was never going to give you that. I wanted to give you everything you never had, Goro, I wanted to make you…so…so happy…” The words are coming out too fast now, all stammered and spluttered and bleeding into each other, and Akechi is staring at him with a strange expression Ren can’t even begin to start identifying. “B-Because I’d been thinking…about h-how unfair it was on us…that we were forced to fight in some…game we didn’t even know about…and because of some stupid…<em>bet</em>…we…I lost…” Tears begin to well in the corners of his eyes and Akechi looks panicked. “A-All the things I wanted for you…all the things I wanted to s-say…” Ren chokes, and he reaches out to grab Akechi’s hand – a little less romantic than he’d hoped but he can’t even think about that now, he just needs Akechi <em>close </em>and warm and <em>alive </em>next to him, a reminder that he’s here and isn’t about to disappear again. “Just…gone. And the way you were so willing to just…give yourself up again for the sake of the world…it m-made me think…did you die thinking that no one would care if you were gone?” It hit him all at once then – the finality, the irreversibility, the permanence of it all struck him like a bolt of lightning and squeezed and squeezed at his heart until he felt like he was going to choke.</p><p>The iridescent haze that tries to push the thought from his mind can’t cloud the memories of his desperate grief and sorrow in the world before, can’t permeate the sense of hopelessness and loneliness that had overwhelmed him, can’t soften the blow of the knife to his heart – the time when Goro had been gone and Ren could do nothing about it…but more than that, he couldn’t make it <em>better</em>. Akechi had spent his whole life alone and his death had been just the same – cold, uncaring, unjust; without the warmth of another to cradle him, comfort him, console him – he’d died in battle; bloodied and battered and broken, with only a warped husk wearing his own face to watch him die. Had it hurt? Had it been quick? Had he spent even a second believing that his life was worth anything? He’d deserved <em>so much more </em>than that, and when presented with the opportunity to give it to him, Ren had grasped the possibility in his hands and had never let it go.</p><p>“I just wanted you to be happy…” He repeats, weakly – it’s then that he realises he’s sobbing uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face – and he’s still holding on tightly to Akechi’s hand. Akechi himself is still watching Ren with an unreadable expression, but he hasn’t moved his hand away yet.</p><p>“You are such an idiot.” He bursts out laughing too, his voice as delirious as Ren’s. “Just – a <em>complete idiot!</em> <em>Of course</em> I was <em>happy</em>.” He says, and his voice is dangerously close to cracking. He glances away from Ren and gives another breathy laugh of disbelief. “You are really so slow sometimes. Why would I have continued to spend what I thought were my last days alive with you if I didn’t find them enjoyable?” He sighed, and slyly wiped his eyes with his free hand. “I can say wholeheartedly that the times I spent with you were the best times of my life. Granted, that’s not saying much, but still…” He shudders, and looks at Ren solemnly, and Ren swears he feels Akechi’s hand squeeze his own ever so slightly. “I could have run away from it all…when I saw you standing in Shibuya on Christmas Eve, I could have walked away and never looked back…if <em>this</em> was the life I wanted.” There’s something so sad in his expression, so desperate and pleading, the emotions swimming in his eyes saying all the words he’s too full of pride to let slip from his tongue.</p><p>He’s tired of the masks, of the lies, of pretending to be something he’s not. He’s <em>tired </em>of it all – and Ren understands. Ren is so tired too.</p><p>But he has to keep going. Akechi <em>has </em>to understand that they can be happy if they just let go of it all. <em>It’s worth it. </em>Ren reminds himself as soon as his resolve begins to slip. <em>It’s worth it if he’s alright, if he’s alive, if he’s happy.</em></p><p>Akechi is giving him a withering look. Ren suddenly realises that he’s not just thinking all this – he’s saying it out loud, the words spilling uncontrollably from his mouth, and Akechi’s frown grows deeper and deeper with everything he says, until –</p><p>The shock and pain of the strike across his face takes him completely by surprise. He collapses to Leblanc’s floor and slumps down in a complete daze, the sharp stinging sensation the only thing keeping him tethered to any coherency. He rubs at his cheek, gazing wearily up at Akechi – who’s standing now, towering above Ren’s crumpled form and glaring down at him with embers of intense animosity and fear glowering in his crimson eyes.</p><p>“What are you <em>talking </em>about?! <em>Let go? </em>What the <em>fuck </em>are you <em>saying</em>?” Ren can see that Akechi is <em>shaking</em>, his breaths deep and heaving, fists clenched tightly by his sides. “<em>What’s wrong with you</em>? You seriously want me to…<em>submit </em>myself to <em>him</em>?” He grits his teeth. “I will <em>never </em>submit myself to <em>anyone, ever again. </em>And you wouldn’t either, and you’d never even <em>think </em>about asking me to do the same!” Ren is in his grip again now – Akechi has grabbed him by the collar, roughly jostling him to his feet and slamming him against Leblanc’s counter.</p><p>“<em>WAKE UP!” </em>He screams, half-strangled by fear, anger, betrayal. “Just…just <em>wake up!</em>” He cries, far past the point of caring about the desperation that’s rapidly rising in his voice. He hates how pathetic and weak he must seem now, literally <em>begging </em>his rival for mercy – but this <em>thing </em>may have Ren’s voice and Ren’s face but he knows it’s <em>not Ren</em>, not even close. “<em>This isn’t you! </em>You would never…” He slams Ren down against the counter again – it looks like Ren tries to speak but Akechi just tightens his grip around the younger boy’s collar and cuts the words off. He doesn’t want to hear anything more – no more hollow, empty words spoken by a doll dressed up like Ren; he just wants that vacant, docile look in the other boy’s eyes <em>gone </em>and he wants him to <em>fight back</em>, to scratch his hands and spill his blood, to <em>hurt </em>him, to <em>do anything </em>but just look at Akechi with those tired eyes. He wants <em>Ren</em> – <em>his Ren, his rival – </em>he wants him back more than anything else in the world.</p><p>“You…you can’t let go yet…you can’t…you…c-can’t…accept…” God, his voice sounds wretched now, but he continues to choke out words, his vision swimming with tears that sting his skin. “…please…don’t leave me here…by myself…” He’s sobbing now, the tears flowing insistently and seemingly endlessly with no regard for his hatred of coming across as pathetic as he feels. Ren chokes out something that sounds like his name – no, wait.</p><p>
  <em>Goro.</em>
</p><p>Not him.</p><p>He feels his hands clench around Ren’s throat of their own accord, his nails digging painfully into Ren’s skin. A virulent madness eats away at him from the inside as he squeezes, and squeezes, and <em>squeezes</em>…</p><hr/><p>There they are again, swarming over him – he’s gotten almost used to it by this point. They’re rougher tonight – is that punishment, perhaps? – tugging at his hair where once they stroked, and prodding and poking at him with such force he gets jostled from side to side. So much to fix now – so many rough edges to sand and smooth down, so many broken pieces to take apart and put back together, all shiny and new.</p><p>Part of him should care, or should be fighting back, but he’s so tired and numb and just feels <em>dead</em> – he can’t even bring himself to open his eyes.</p><p>They nip and tuck at him persistently throughout the night, undisturbed in their pursuit of perfection.</p><p><em>It’ll all be over soon. </em>Akechi thinks, betrayingly, as they lick the blood off his hands.</p><hr/><p>Ren awakens to the sound of a ringing phone.</p><p>His hands fly instinctively to his neck – but there’s nothing, no signs of injury or trauma, not even a pinprick of pain as he glides his fingers along his skin, as if pressing against it would somehow produce a vivid recollection of how moments earlier, he had been choking desperately, gloved fingers wrapped around his throat and squeezing the breath out of him, Akechi’s eyes shining like rubies in the light, tears streaming down his face as he called out Ren’s name…even though Ren was right there…</p><p>The phone continues to ring.</p><p>Hesitantly, he picks it up and checks the number.</p><p><em>Maruki</em>.</p><p>The thoughts of the night before begin to slip through cracks in his mind like sand through fingers, and it’s not long before he finds it nothing more than a distant nightmare, so far removed from his perfect life.</p><p>He answers the phone.</p><p>“Amamiya-kun?” Maruki says, sounding panicked.</p><p>“I’m here.”</p><p>“Oh, thank– I’m so glad you’re alright.”</p><p>“Did…something…happen?” He frowns.</p><p>“Hm? Don’t you remember? You weren’t feeling well last night, so you asked me to ring you in the morning to check up on you. I’ve been calling for a little bit now…”</p><p>“Oh, sorry…I was just sleeping.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, as if that might jumpstart his brain.</p><p>“Haha, it’s alright.” Maruki says, the worry in his voice evaporating in an instant. “How are you doing?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m fine, I think. Just a bit tired.” He yawns. “And…well, I…I’m feeling a bit strange, to be honest. Um, I don’t really know how to explain it. Ah, it’s probably nothing.”</p><p>“Well, you know what they say – a problem shared is a problem halved. What’s on your mind?”</p><p>“I’m not…” Ren tries, but the words clog his throat. “It’s…difficult to explain. I just feel like…something’s wrong.” God, he must sound pathetic.</p><p>There’s a pause, a shuffling of paper on the other end of the line. “Say, how about I pay you a visit later? It might help if you’ve got someone to talk to in-person – I find it’s often easier to sort through our thoughts in the company of another.”</p><p>“I think Ake–” Ren begins, before stopping abruptly. Why would he be under the impression that Akechi would be visiting him? He takes a deep breath and feels a warmth start to spill over him. That’s right…he’s not seen Akechi in a couple of days – Akechi probably doesn’t even know that Ren’s sick. And Ren doesn’t want to bother him, make him worry, because Akechi has enough on his plate with his busy schedule of interviews and cases. “Yeah, if you’d be okay coming round tonight, I think that’d be helpful.”</p><p>“Not a problem, Amamiya-kun. I’ll see you later.”</p><p>The call disconnects. Ren feels an unnatural warmth starting to cradle him, and he welcomes it with open arms – the comfort it brings coupled with the intense wave of lethargy that washes over him lulls him to sleep again in an instant, his phone slipping from his grasp.</p><hr/><p>“Well, we need to talk, don’t we?” Maruki says perkily, pushing his emptied plate away. “Great curry, by the way.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Ren says miserably, twirling his spoon around. He doesn’t have much of an appetite.</p><p>“So,” Maruki leans forward, his tone gentle and yet conspiratorial. “what seems to be the problem?”</p><p>“It’s…about Akechi.” Ren says, ashamedly. “Not that he’s a problem, that’s not what I mean. I just, um…I don’t think he’s…<em>happy</em>, here.”</p><p>“And in turn, that makes you unhappy?”</p><p>Ren nods.</p><p>Maruki gives him a tender smile. “I understand...I know how much Akechi-kun means to you. And, well, I think you mean a lot to him too.”</p><p>Ren squirms. “I don’t…really know about that.” Maruki tilts his head questioningly. Ren sighs. “I…think he tried to kill me. Um, and I think he tried to kill himself too…” He suddenly feels quite sick again, heat rushing to his head as something in his stomach coils and twists uncomfortably. “God…<em>Goro…</em>” Through his wooziness he can feel hot tears beginning to well in his eyes as everything inside him threatens to come undone. The world swims around him in a blurred whirlwind of distorted colours, unravelling into a glittering iridescent tapestry – until Maruki speaks again, and the room jolts back to normal.</p><p>“If you want my opinion, Amamiya-kun, I think you and Akechi-kun are both extraordinary young men. Your inner strength and resolve never cease to amaze me.” He says warmly, before a slight frown quirks his brow. “However…Akechi-kun is a…<em>unique</em> individual. He’s a very…<em>difficult </em>person to try and help.” Something in his expression shifts to sadness. “Of course, we can’t blame him for that. He went through so much before…but because of that, I think it’s more difficult for him to accept this reality. And I think, unfortunately, that no matter how you explain it to him, he will continue to reject it. Would you agree with that?”</p><p>Ren nods, frowning. “He doesn’t want to…lose himself.”</p><p>“I understand his concerns…but that’s not how this works.” Maruki gives Ren a pointed look over the brim of his glasses. “You understand that, don’t you? I’m not robbing anyone of their free will, I’m simply helping them to be the best version of themselves. There’s only gains, not losses.”</p><p>Ren shifts awkwardly in his seat.</p><p>Maruki continues. “And I think the issue with Akechi-kun is that…he doesn’t want to get better. I think he wants to continue punishing himself for what he’s done. That self-hatred, that need to keep hurting himself…I think he’s frightened of living without it. And I think…he doesn’t believe he’s deserving of the second chance my reality can give him.” Maruki’s tone drops, low and serious. “But we know differently, don’t we, Amamiya-kun?”</p><p>“I…” Ren feels drowsy all of a sudden, and trying to summon any thoughts is like trying to wade through mud. “I…he…h-he deserves it…he deserves to be happy…” He’s shaking now, feverish and dizzy.</p><p>“I’m glad you agree with me.” Maruki nods approvingly. “You’ve both been through so much…I would like very much for you both to be happy too. But you have to understand that if Akechi-kun keeps fighting against me…I can’t make him as happy as I know you want him to be. He won’t let me. And…well, that causes…<em>complications.</em>”</p><p>The word sounds so…clinical, so severe, that Ren is pulled out of his wooziness. “Complications?”</p><p>“Yes.” Maruki says gravely. “Amamiya-kun, I would ask you…I would <em>implore </em>you…don’t let Akechi-kun drag you down with him. I know you only want his happiness but as long as he keeps resisting me, <em>you </em>are also going to be unhappy.”</p><p>“I don’t care…about…myself…I…just…want…Goro…to be…”</p><p>“I know, I know.” Maruki is beside him now, patting his shoulder softly and speaking soothingly. “You’re so selfless. But after all you’ve done for me…I can’t just watch you suffer. Not when I can fix it all so easily.”</p><p>“I can’t…give up on…Goro…” He feels like he’s being grasped by something and dragged under a black sea, barely staying afloat – only Maruki’s voice keeps him grounded.</p><p>“Hey hey, it’s nothing like that. The last thing I want is to have to…<em>erase</em> anything.” Ren barely even notices the deliberate, pointed tone of his voice, the harshness of <em>that word</em>. “That’s why I’m asking for your permission. I’m asking you to reconsider.”</p><p>“Reconsider…?” Ren feels numb all over and the word feels like someone else said it for him.</p><p>“We’ve had this conversation many times before, Amamiya-kun. And each time you’ve tried to get through to Akechi-kun. I could see how badly this was hurting you, so you promised me that this time would be the last – and if you couldn’t convince Akechi-kun to accept this reality, you’d let me make him happy. You’d let me remove what is stopping him from letting me help him.”</p><p>Is he even awake anymore? Leblanc feels so far away, and he feels like he’s floating, drifting lazily in a shimmering haze that feels so <em>peaceful</em>, so freeing, the tangled knot of anxiety in his stomach unspooling and sending waves of bliss and pleasure cascading over him…he wants nothing more than for Goro to be here with him, so they can share in this perfection together…</p><p>He’s dimly aware that he says something – or he moves his mouth and makes noises – and that seems to make Maruki smile. Even Maruki’s voice is growing distant now…something something…<em>I’m so glad to hear that, Amamiya-kun</em>…<em>I only want the best for you both</em>…something something…<em>don’t worry about anything any more</em>…and then he’s gone, gone, gone…</p><hr/><p>Akechi doesn’t hear from Ren – or the thing that has Ren’s name – today.</p><p>His hand jerks and clenches around his phone as if on invisible strings, and there’s a persistent itch that shifts along his fingers throughout the whole day, but he bites his lip and resists. He doesn’t need to call him. He doesn’t <em>want </em>to call him. He <em>will not </em>follow the sequence laid out for him, not today.</p><p>He glances out of the window – and it’s night, as if the rest of the day passed him by while he was deep in thought. He’s pretty sure he’s done nothing for the whole day but he still feels so goddamn <em>tired</em>, taking weary leaden steps to his bedroom, dragging himself along like a reanimated corpse. He can’t be bothered to change into pyjamas so he just strips down to his boxers and crawls weakly under the covers, feeling the fatigue wash over him as soon as he puts his head to his pillow.</p><p>Something in him vaguely registers that the hands haven’t laid a finger on him yet, but at this point he’s past the point of caring. Maybe they won’t visit tonight, maybe he’ll finally have some peace…who cares, he just wants to <em>rest</em>, to not have to think, to not have to <em>exist</em>, just for a little while…</p><p>Then, he feels it – an experimental probing at his chest, where his once-fatal wound sits red and raw, an ugly bloodied flower in full bloom over his heart. His senses ignite as an invisible nail, hard and sharp, drags itself across the crusted patch of skin, sending spikes of agony shooting through him. To his horror, hundreds of fingers frantically crawl over his chest and stomach all in an instant, and they start tearing and clawing ravenously at the sensitive scarred flesh.</p><p>He lets out a cry of pain and desperately writhes to escape their grip, batting wildly at the threat he can’t see, but the shifting weight on his chest holds him place and saps what little strength he has all too quickly. They pay his flailing limbs no mind, insistently scratching and burrowing into him like worms devouring a corpse - some hands even creep over to his back and start gnawing hungrily, tugging at the twisted knot of flesh there, ripping out every last remnant of the rotten reality from his body. They scrub and pick at every scar, every imperfection - and Akechi thinks they won’t ever stop, ravaging him until there’s nothing left.</p><p>After what feels like years spent enduring intense waves of pain racking through his body, the invisible little bastards scuttle away and leave him there, curled up pathetically small and cupping his hands protectively over his heart where there’s now only bare, smooth skin, no sign of any wound at all. He chokes out a weak protest but all the will to fight inside him has been thoroughly drained as the hands greedily tear him apart, inside and out, gorging themselves full to bursting - he just wants it to stop, for all the pain to go away...<em>just let it end, just let me die, just stop...</em></p><p>He’s not sure if it’s sleep or death that takes him - but as a few stray hands pick over what’s left of him after the feeding frenzy, he doesn’t care any more.</p><hr/><p>Ren awakens to the sound of a ringing phone.</p><p>Still half-asleep, he fumbles for it as pale sunlight bleeds through the crack in the curtain, the sounds of activity outside clearly indicating that the world outside is a lot more awake than he is. With some difficulty he retrieves his phone from under the bed and answers with a groggy; “Hello…?”</p><p>“Oh, my apologies, Ren – did I wake you?” Akechi chimes pleasantly on the other end of the phone.</p><p>Ren manages a laugh, massaging his temples as he sits up. “Well, maybe. Don’t worry about it though. What’s up?”</p><p>“Well, I obviously just wanted to say good morning…so, good morning, first of all…”</p><p>Ren smiles fondly, beginning to pull the curtains fully open, letting warm yellow light stream into the room. “Good morning.” He says, voice still low and thick with sleep.</p><p>Akechi chuckles, a light and carefree sound. “…and also I just wanted to enquire as to whether I’d be able to pop round this evening for some coffee and curry. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”</p><p>“It’s been like…” Ren furrowed his brow in thought. “…two days at most?”</p><p>“An agonising amount of time to go without sampling such exquisite cuisine, Amamiya-kun!” Akechi said in a theatrical sort of way, and Ren could well imagine the other boy pairing his statement with a dramatic gesture on the other end of the phone, and stifled a laugh at the thought.</p><p>“I suppose so.” He replies, absently twirling a lock of hair between his fingers, before dropping into a conspiratorial tone. “Of course, given the hours you work, you might get here once Sojiro’s headed home for the evening, in which case, the food probably won’t be up to your standards, since I’ll be the one making it.”</p><p>“Oh well, I’m sure I’ll cope. You’ll just have to make it up to me somehow.” Akechi teases. “How does 8pm sound?”</p><p>“Sounds good to me. See you later.”</p><p>“Excellent. Until then.”</p><p>The call disconnects.</p><p>Another perfect day.</p><hr/><p>Dinner goes well. Akechi finishes his curry in record time, grinning delightedly as Ren spoons him another plateful. In-between ravenous bites of delicious food, Akechi chatters excitedly to Ren about his very productive day at work, his thoughts on the latest case he’s tackling, his amusing horror stories about the silly questions the interviewers always ask and the backstage dramas he’s pieced together snippets of to create a full narrative – and Ren listens to it all, enraptured, feeling so blissfully content that his own perfect day should end like this, with a full belly and Akechi smiling so widely and earnestly and with this adorable pink dusting to his cheeks that he keeps trying to hide, but Ren always sees.</p><p>The perfection continues as they head upstairs and curl up close together on Ren’s bed, hands interlinked. It’s not long before they lapse into a cosy silence, and despite feeling so relaxed, Ren can feel his heart pounding in his chest and excitement swells within him.</p><p>Soon after, they’re tangled closer together, infinitely more intimate in ways they’d always wanted to be but never could have dreamed of before. Ren pins Akechi’s wrists above his head and showers him with affection, nuzzling against his cheek, pressing kisses and murmurs of praise to his neck, trailing along his jawline and down to his collarbone. It’s only then that he feels Akechi trembling.</p><p>“Goro?” He says gently, nudging against the other boy’s cheek with his nose. “I’m sorry, is it too much?”</p><p>“I’m…” Akechi replies weakly, tears beginning to prick at the corners of his crimson eyes, wide and doe-like. “…I’m so…so tired…” He moves to turn away from Ren, pathetically writhing against his strong grip, but Ren holds him fast and presses a kiss to his cheek, tasting the salt from the tears spilling down his face. “I…I-I’m…dying…” He protests, shaking in Ren’s grip.</p><p>“Ssshhhh, Goro, it’s alright…everything’s okay…” Ren whispers soothingly, squeezing Akechi’s wrists and drawing a soft gasp from the other boy. He lifts his head to brush his nose against the tip of Akechi’s, gazing down at him through lidded eyes. He can feel how Akechi’s fluttering pulse quickens beneath his fingertips at their proximity. “I promise you…you’ll feel better in the morning. This pain you’re feeling…it’ll all be over soon.”</p><p>Akechi whimpers but Ren shushes him again. “It’s alright, Goro. Everything’s okay.” He slowly lowers himself down to lay beside Akechi, pressing his chest to the other boy’s back and nuzzling against the nape of Akechi’s neck. He can feel Akechi trembling still, so he wraps one arm around his waist and traces light patterns against his stomach and sides, his fingers dancing along Akechi’s smooth, soft skin. With his other hand he strokes through Akechi’s hair, threading through locks that slip through his fingers like silky caramel.</p><p>He squeezes the other boy’s waist, feeling his quivering begin to fade. “My perfect Goro.” He drawls, and Akechi goes limp, sagging bonelessly against Ren.</p><p>Ren sits up slightly, just so he can see Akechi’s face. He really is so<em> perfect</em>, even with the slight damp on his cheeks from his tears – still so delicately beautiful, pale porcelain skin almost shining silver in the moonlight, all the sharp and stern angles of his face softened and framed by his chestnut hair, slightly tousled from where Ren had combed through it. Akechi looks up at Ren with glassy scarlet eyes, waiting and expectant. So sweet and good…he looks almost like he might break if Ren moves too suddenly – so Ren slowly lowers himself down until his mouth hovers just above Akechi’s ear.</p><p>“Are you happy, my perfect prince?” He whispers sweetly, almost breathless, and then draws back slightly to see Akechi’s reaction.</p><p>The other boy blinks. “…Y-Y-Y…Ye-Y…” He stammers weakly, then goes quiet, and turns away.</p><p>“Goro?” Ren says, cupping Akechi’s face gently but firmly so he’s looking at Ren again, vacantly gazing up through long eyelashes. “I asked you if you were happy.”</p><p>Akechi squirms a little, and another tear trickles down his cheek. “Y-Y-Y…”</p><p>“It’s alright, Goro.” Ren says, catching the tear on his fingertip. “You don’t need to lie any more.”</p><p>Akechi swallows and nods.</p><p>Ren gives a resigned sigh, and settles back down behind Akechi, snuggling against him. “It’s alright.” He repeats, patiently, carding his hand through Akechi’s hair again. “We can just try again tomorrow.” Ren presses a finger between the other boy’s shoulder blades, dragging his hand down his spine.</p><p>Akechi only shudders in response.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kudos and comments v appreciated!! ;w; thank you for reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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